In the first part of this section I mentioned a few things I did that helped me to understand myself better. In this section I want to give you a few questions as a base to help you get going, because sometimes that first step is the hardest step of all. So, here are some questions you can ask yourself as well as some suggested topics to think about. These are just ideas to help you get started and shouldn’t be viewed as a comprehensive list. Please feel free to post questions you come up with for yourself or areas you felt needed examining that you found helpful in your own self-discovery.
Describe, in as much detail as possible, your ideal life.
Where would you live? What kind of home would you have? What car would you drive? How would you dress? What would your job be? Would you be a volunteer at any organizations? How would you be involved in your community? What sort of person would you be with in an intimate relationship? What type of values are important to you? Would you belong to a certain church or community or business organization? Would you want to be a stay at home parent or would you want to be working? Would you have any pets? If so, what kind? Would you have children (if you don’t already)? Where would they attend school if you had children in your ideal life?
Describe, in as much detail as possible, your life right now.
What is the best thing about your life right now? What would you most like to change or get rid of completely? Are your friendships positive, loving and supportive or is there constant drama? What about your current home do you love? What about your current job do you love? What sort of values do you try to instill in your children if you have them? Are you a spiritual person and if so how important is that spirituality to you?
Would you like to meet you?
Listen to how you describe yourself to others. Are you someone you would introduce your best friend, your family, your co-workers to? Is there anything about yourself that you are proud of? Are there things about yourself you would love to improve on?
Make a list of all the qualities you want in a mate.
Do you have all of those qualities? Can you improve on some of those things in yourself? Are there some qualities that are more important to you than others?
Here is an example of how I answered some these questions for myself.
My ideal life would involve living a little ways out of the city on a “farm” with horses, dogs, a place for rescued animals, a huge garden, and a stocked pond for fishing. The house would be a “log cabin” in that it would look like a log cabin but be big enough for the kids, grandkids, and other family to come for visits.
Right now I am living in a duplex. One of the things I love about it is how close it is to everything like my job, shopping, my daughters school, and several friends. I also like that it’s a fixer-upper, in that I can remodel and re-decorate to my heart’s content.
Would I like meeting me? Yes absolutely! I am funny with a slightly twisted sense of humor in that I can take bad situations in my life and make jokes of them. I’m a terrific mom who lives by the idea that children have a brain and should be taught how to use it once they move away from my care. This means teaching them to cook, clean up after themselves, do their laundry, pay their bills, set their appointments and other real life things. I can be friendly without being overly personal. I dislike drama and will do what I can to minimize it in my own life and the lives of those I live with. I am supportive without being smothering.
Some of the things I know I need improvement on would be how I handle my money. I am impulse shopper and need to remain focused on just getting what’s needed without going crazy. I need to get in shape physically but have a hard time staying motivated. I hate procrastination and waiting around for things but I need to learn patience.
So, I hope these ideas can you started. I am available for more help with this on skype or on yahoo IM. Leave a comment with your question and how you would like to be contacted.
That Crinkled Chick 