Archive for Motivation

Dreams are like mist

Trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life is a pretty frustrating way to spend my time, I have discovered just recently. I have done tarot readings about it, consulted oracles, made copious lists and in general driven myself crazy over last several days trying to sort “me” out. What do I want? I don’t know. I love reading and doing research on subjects that capture my interest but then after a while that interest wanes and I don’t do anything at all with the subject.

Take EFT for instance. I know I love it and for about 3 months I studied everything I could get my hands on about it. I bookmarked about 50 websites dedicated to the subject, signed up for the newsletters, blah blah blah. And I havent touched it about 6 months. I got bored with it or something. Or maybe it was not having anyone in the house as enthusiastic about it as I was. I hate being alone in my enthusiasm.

There are so many things I want to get into as well but since I have so many unfinished projects already I feel guilty for even thinking aobut doing anything else.

I have a Soul Clinic class that I need to get finished. I have an ABCs of Herbalism class that I need to finish paying for and actually get started on. I have tarot classes I want to take and a whole host of other things I am interested in but can’t seem to get motivated to do them. Its not like I dread these classes, I am actually really interested in them.

I would really love to take up painting again. And learning to belly dance has also been on my to do list for nearly my whole life. But then I remember that I spent a few hundred bucks on classes that I havent finished yet and should really get done before I take up something else. And then there’s always a new oracle or Tarot deck that I should really settle down to learning.

Is it because I am a Pisces that I can’t seem to settle on one thing to do for the rest of my life? Is it because I was born blonde? Yes I know that at puberty I went brunette but I was still born with the blonde genes. Maybe I was just meant to be flakey for the rest of my life? I do know I dont want to spend the rest of my life wishing I had done the stuff I wanted to do but didn’t because I was worried about what other people would think of me, or that I might end up homeless alone and starving in the street somewhere for trying to follow my dreams.

These days I don’t even know what my dreams are. I know when I was  akid I wanted to be a detective and an archaeologist and a mystery writer and a belly dancer and climb mountains and… and.. and… well you get the picture. There is a lot of stuff i dreamed of doing that as I got older i either forgot about or just was interested enough to pursue it.

Nowdays I spend my time thinking about things. Trying to figure out what I need to do and where I need to be going with my life. Hope I figure it out soon. Im kind of getting tired of being tired all the time.

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