Posts Tagged ‘lifestyle’

Submission is not a gift

Some people really really need to get a clue. Submission is NOT a gift. Submission is a service. Love is a gift. Because regardless of what you think of me I can love you all day long and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Submission is a service because I can offer it to you but if you reject it then I move on.
Love is doing what is best for someone whether or not they are aware of it. Submission is doing what is expected of you. Someone wants you to do a certain task you do that task regardless of whether or not you feel like it at that moment. Love is not submission. I can submit to a play partner and not love them. It’s done every single day in dungeons and clubs all across the USA. Submission is my contracted service for whatever activity is being done for a specified time period whether or not I find myself in love with you. I dont always have to be submitted to you. Love has nothing to do with it. Too many people are confusing the emotions of love with acts of submission.

Submission Defined:
submission [səbˈmɪʃən]n

1. an act or instance of submitting
2. something submitted; a proposal, argument, etc.
3. the quality or condition of being submissive to another

Love Defined:

–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one’s neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
–verb (used with object)

15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
18. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20. to have sexual intercourse with.
–verb (used without object)

21. to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

—Verb phrase

22. love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.

—Idioms

23. for love,

a. out of affection or liking; for pleasure.
b. without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.
24. for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.
25. in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
26. in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one’s work.
27. make love,

a. to embrace and kiss as lovers.
b. to engage in sexual activity.
28. no love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lost between the two brothers.

They look like 2 VERY different words to me.

Oh and just for good measure

Gift Defined:
Anything given; anything voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation; a present; an offering.
The act, right, or power of giving or bestowing; as, the office is in the gift of the President.
A voluntary transfer of real or personal property, without any consideration. It can be perfected only by deed, or in case of personal property, by an actual delivery of possession.
To endow with some power or faculty.

serv⋅ice

an act of helpful activity; help; aid: to do someone a service.
the performance of duties or the duties performed as or by a waiter or servant; occupation or employment as a waiter or servant.

By these very definitions of the words submission, love, gift, and service there is no way that submission can be a gift. Because my submission doesn’t come without “strings” of some sort. It is also revokable (that means I can take it back.)

One of the things that drives me absolutely bonkers about some folks in this lifestyle is how they try to “pretty” up BDSM. BDSM isn’t pretty or rosy or sweetness and light. It also isnt whips and chains and leather all the time. That stuff is “fetish” and there while BDSM and fetish can walk hand in hand, BDSM is a lifestyle while fetish is sexual. A fetish is a psychological attachment to something that results in sexual pleasure.
Submission does not always result in sexual pleasure. Sometimes it’s darn hard to say “Yes Master” when I don’t feel like it. Being His submissive means I do it anyway. This lifestyle isnt some Happily Ever After and it gets really annoying when people who dont have the faintest clue what the hell they are talking about start in about how their submission is a gift. These people are the ones who keep perpetuating the myth to the newbies. Unfortunately so many of us stand by and let them.

The thing is, I am still submissive whether or not I have a Master to serve. If I owned my own business as a housekeeper but didn’t have any houses to clean just now would that make me any less a house keeper? No it just means my service isn’t being utilized just then. but so many think they have to be in submission to someone or their life isnt complete. They don’t understand that it’s who you ARE not what you are doing right that moment.

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