Posts Tagged ‘pain’

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Today I’m going to color my hair (i bleached it the day before yesterday now gotta add in color so its not brassy n stuff.) , paint my nails (black of course), give myself a pedicure (red toe nails look awesome with my gold flip flops), and finish that spring cleaning list I have been working on. My niece and my daughter have offered to help me get this place squared away… for a nominal fee of course. I’m hoping $40 a piece will cover it because I cant afford to pay them my rates lol. But with the 3 of us working on it we should have it done in no time. Right?

I had to go through the closet and figure out what I can and cant wear since my surgery. It was sad to bag up the size 5s and 8s. I folded everything up and put it in big bags to go downstairs but the bags are still sitting at the foot of the bed. It’s like I am hoping that I will magically become a size 5 or 8 again. Sigh. I had to go shopping afterward since I only had 2 pairs of normal pants that fit. How depressing. I had to get size 12s to go around the swelly belly but the butts and thighs are so saggy. But I only got 3 pairs because I refuse to fill my closet up with stuff that in a few months will be way too big. No skirts or shorts either. I have 1 pair of jeans shorts for running around on my days off in (if it ever warms up enough for shorts that is) but those were given to me. I worked way too hard on putting together the wardrobe I have now. I love Goodwill for shopping for stuff I like that I cant afford to hit Kohl’s or Macy’s for. Eventually someone in my size gets rid of perfectly good clothes lol. I did get a really neat catalog in the mail yesterday though and found a couple of maxi dresses I have to have that are reasonably priced. But thats for next paycheck. So its been an entire week on the estrogen stuff. I think I am managing better. I dont feel like I am going to rip someone’s head off and spit down the hole if they look at me wrong. Plus i think its helping that i am blogging stuff that really gets to me. Sorry if i seem venomous sometimes. I promise im not usually but somedays stuff just really gets to me. but atleast not so much now with the estrogen.

And I am all excited. Monday I go pick up my new partial. Having your teeth knocked out by your ex sort of does something to a person. It will be nice to smile and have beautiful teeth again. Yep I’ll still have the gap. At least until I can save up enough to go have that fixed. But at least I wont have the gaping hole on the one side of my teeth anymore.

Speaking of saving money. I have decided that I am going to save up the money for hair extensions. I think it would be awesome to have really long hair and this way I can have it without having to wait years for it to finally grow out again lol.

Oh and i had an “aha” moment last night about my Fibromyalgia. So how do they test you for it? They poke you hard in a few places right? Well the sweet babboo pokes me last night while goofing around and it hurt like a sumbish. Then he says “wheres my stick?” like he’s gonna spank me and I cant help grinning. (Gawd i love a good spanking) Anyway he says, “whats up with that? I can’t poke you but I can beat you with a stick?” I thought about it. Different kind of pain. The poke is in a specific spot the size of the tip of a finger right? But a spanking covers the whole booty. The pain of a spanking doesnt go clear down to the muscles underneath. Its a surface sort of pain. Now if he were poking me all over I probably wouldnt enjoy it at all. Because poking goes clear down to the muscles under the fat and skin. So yay for that lil aha moment.

And then on Tuesday is my 6 week checkup. YAY!!! Maybe I will get to FINALLY have sex again. I miss sex. I have been missing sex since the day of the surgery. I woke up from a nap the day I got home having an orgasm. I thought I had lost my mind. For crying out loud I had just had surgery you know? But then I was reading on a forum dedicated to hysterectomies and I was happy to find out that I was definitely not alone. Apparently this is a pretty common reaction to the surgery. Well that kinda sucks because here you are in major pain (and definitely not the good kind) having to deal with being horny as hell and you cant do a damn thing about it until your surgeon releases you to have sex again. 6 weeks or longer waiting time. I swear I thought I was going to lose my mind. I have never cried over a lack of sex before. I mean literally bawling. I didnt think I could make it. But I did! And the sweet babboo made it too so props for him! I just hope he takes things REALLY slowly with me that first time. I dont know how my body is going to react and all. Well anywho I suppose I had better get off this thing and get something accomplished today….. naaaaaaaaah… surfin time lol