Dreams are like mist

Trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life is a pretty frustrating way to spend my time, I have discovered just recently. I have done tarot readings about it, consulted oracles, made copious lists and in general driven myself crazy over last several days trying to sort “me” out. What do I want? I don’t know. I love reading and doing research on subjects that capture my interest but then after a while that interest wanes and I don’t do anything at all with the subject.

Take EFT for instance. I know I love it and for about 3 months I studied everything I could get my hands on about it. I bookmarked about 50 websites dedicated to the subject, signed up for the newsletters, blah blah blah. And I havent touched it about 6 months. I got bored with it or something. Or maybe it was not having anyone in the house as enthusiastic about it as I was. I hate being alone in my enthusiasm.

There are so many things I want to get into as well but since I have so many unfinished projects already I feel guilty for even thinking aobut doing anything else.

I have a Soul Clinic class that I need to get finished. I have an ABCs of Herbalism class that I need to finish paying for and actually get started on. I have tarot classes I want to take and a whole host of other things I am interested in but can’t seem to get motivated to do them. Its not like I dread these classes, I am actually really interested in them.

I would really love to take up painting again. And learning to belly dance has also been on my to do list for nearly my whole life. But then I remember that I spent a few hundred bucks on classes that I havent finished yet and should really get done before I take up something else. And then there’s always a new oracle or Tarot deck that I should really settle down to learning.

Is it because I am a Pisces that I can’t seem to settle on one thing to do for the rest of my life? Is it because I was born blonde? Yes I know that at puberty I went brunette but I was still born with the blonde genes. Maybe I was just meant to be flakey for the rest of my life? I do know I dont want to spend the rest of my life wishing I had done the stuff I wanted to do but didn’t because I was worried about what other people would think of me, or that I might end up homeless alone and starving in the street somewhere for trying to follow my dreams.

These days I don’t even know what my dreams are. I know when I was  akid I wanted to be a detective and an archaeologist and a mystery writer and a belly dancer and climb mountains and… and.. and… well you get the picture. There is a lot of stuff i dreamed of doing that as I got older i either forgot about or just was interested enough to pursue it.

Nowdays I spend my time thinking about things. Trying to figure out what I need to do and where I need to be going with my life. Hope I figure it out soon. Im kind of getting tired of being tired all the time.

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2 Comments »

  1. Moonshadow Said:

    There is nothing wrong with the way you feel–you simply have a lot of interests and not enough time to devote to all of them 100%. I think that is perfectly okay. Actually you remind me more of a Gemini than a Pisces–a “jack of all trades”–you want to do it all. Have you ever considered that perhaps your life on earth is just some kind of “training” for the Afterlife? (assuming you believe in an Afterlife). I was told by my Guardian Angel that I would be a teacher in the Afterlife, and that accounts for my interest in gaining knowledge in many different fields. I feel that sooner or later I will settle on one or two subjects I consider the most important–but until then, I just cast my net widely….perhaps that is what you are doing too. It’s just a thought…

    • Every time i see this comment i get that song “I’m being followed by a Moon shadow, moon shadow, moon shadow” stuck in my head lol. and thanks for the encouragement so long ago


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