Common Sense Submission- Part 1

Getting to Know “You”!

In this section I want to discuss learning to get to know yourself and why I think this is so important.

Understanding what makes you tick is more important than snaring a Dominant. I know I am going to get blasted for that one but I happen to believe it’s the truth.  There are so many tools available out there to help you understand how you work that its positively sinful. You should know more about you than anyone else on the planet. Seriously, you have to live with you day in and day out. A little effort in understanding what you want, need, desire, why you pick the men you do, why you have the relationships you do, all are very important in ensuring you don’t just pick up the first collar that comes along.

A few of the things I did: I took several online personality tests, I  like  astrology and horoscopes so I read up on the signs in order to better understand the personalities from that point of view.  I enjoy numerology so I did a chart for myself. My mother swears I have to rescue everyone in the universe so I did some work on that. (That actually turned out pretty well. I got rid of some toxic relationships, figured out what I want to be when I grow up and a bunch of other stuff like that.) I made a list of everything I am even remotely decent at such as sewing, cooking, gardening, taking care of plants and animals, reading out loud, talking to strangers and stuff of that nature. I made a list of everything I need to improve like my motivation to stay in shape, procrastinating on stuff I really don’t want to do but really have to. I listened to what other Doms said they wanted, needed, liked, or hated  from a girl they were looking to collar and made a list of those things. I compared it to my lists and the things I thought I would enjoy or could do that I didn’t already,  I checked out further. Things that held no appeal for me went on a different list. I took the BDSM checklist and got more information on terms I didn’t understand. I asked questions and made note of the answers I was given. In short I did my homework.

And that’s where I see a lot of submissives give up. They want their Dominant to do it all for them and they make no effort to do the things that would make them desirable as a submissive.


  1. thepinkpoppet Said:

    Like you hon, I firmly believe that knowing oneself is vital before you can allow anyone else to know you fully. If you want to be a good sub or even a Dom, you must know yourself, what you are capable of and not capable of, what you want and need and how you operate, physically, mentally and emotionally. Going into life in general without knowledge of yourself is like trying to sail across the ocean in a bucket after having never seen the ocean…it makes no sense. Learning oneself is not an overnight job and takes a lifetime since we are always in a state of change. But we should always be aware of knowing as much about ourselves as we can. Ignorance is NOT bliss…it is just dangerous. Just my little 3 cents worth to whomever cares. Hugs.

  2. Hi hunnie, sweet website! I really like this post.. I was wondering about this for a long time now. This cleared a lot up for me! Do you have a rss feed that I can add?

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