Common Sense Submission- Intro

So I had this thought while lying in bed trying to sleep. What if I could put together a Common Sense Guide to Submission for new people in the lifestyle. Something to really break down what it is to be a submissive. A way to pull the important things a new sub needs to know out of all the garbage and nonsense out there. Yes I know there are so many blogs out there about this or that one’s journey as a submissive. And there are also a lot of sites that offer practical advice on finding a Dominant. Hey, I even wrote an article about it myself. But I haven’t found a lot of advice on living from day to day in a BDSM household on a 24/7 basis. I am sure there are sites around that DO address the issue but they seem to be pretty hard to find.

First, I suppose I should explain my theory of common sense submission so that you can understand where I am coming from a little more. I have a few basic “tenets” of what I believe submission is and how day to day life works once you figure out you are submissive. A lot of my beliefs stem from my personal experience so I do hope that those who would read this and proclaim that this isn’t “how my submission works”  will understand that I am not talking to you. You want to do it differently go right ahead. I just found, for myself,  that a lot of things that I was taught at the beginning of my journey didn’t work for me in a practical sense.

The first thing I believe about submission is that it is possible to be submissive and not be collared to a Dominant. I can hear the gasps of outrage now. Too many folks seem to think that being collared is going to make everything all perfect and wonderful in their world. I don’t happen to agree with that. I think you can be submissive without being collared because honest to pete submission takes the same self-discipline and self-control that we subs demand of our Dominants.

The second thing I believe about submission is that it is not a gift but is instead an attitude that permeates every action, every thought, every word that comes from my heart towards my Dominant.  In keeping with this I also believe that submission is a service I perform for one I am submitted to.

I believe that it is a submissive’s absolute duty to bring her A-Game to the table when offering her submission to a Dominant. By this I mean that the submissive has dealt with any mental, emotional, financial and spiritual issues that may cause her to be less than submitted to the Dominant she chooses to offer her submission to. This means some very serious soul searching, hard work, dedication and self-discipline. I don’t know that there are many out there willing to put in the time and effort it will take to become the best submissive they can possibly be. But for those of you who are earnestly seeking to become the best you can be I hope that my thoughts and ponderings on this will be helpful as you find your path.

I was raised in a Pentecostal home. I was taught that a proper wife submits to her husband and he is the final authority in all things. I had no idea however of what true submission meant. I was simply told that my husband was now in charge of me. That got me into a lot of situations that I never wanted to be in. When I finally realized what was happening I got out and defied anyone to tell me what to do ever again. I have met so many women like this that have gone through the same things. We all went though a period of being “men-haters” and bitterness. I didn’t want to be a man-hater or a bitter person. I wanted to be in a loving, committed relationship where my natural abilities, talents, skills and all the other things I had to offer were enhanced, enjoyed, and appreciated. I feel very blessed to have found that finally, but it took me over 35 years to find it.

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