The Search For BBC

I keep getting this question. From my Master, from white men and occasionally from the men I talk to. Why do I want to be with a black man?

First, let me address something. I am in a stable, healthy relationship. We don’t fight or fuss at each other. We aren’t dissatisfied with our sex life. If anything since they hysterectomy it’s gotten even more fantastic. He is not looking to dump me on someone else. I’m not looking for someone else to take over as Master or boyfriend or sugar daddy. He is not forcing me to do this. It’s my fantasy as much if not more so than his. We are a normal couple who just happen to have a little kinkiness to us.

It does have something to do with the contrast of skin colors. Black and white are always a beautiful combination. It does have something to do with having something I never have before. I’ve been with white, Native Alaskan, Hispanic but never with a black man. There’s a little bit of the size factor in there as well. Most black men are simply bigger than most the white men I have been with.

Mostly, for me, it is about being with someone who instead of denying the things that I fantasize about or belittling me for wanting to try something new, encourages me to get out there and try things that look interesting to me but maybe I’m a little afraid to try. I am a little timid sometimes. Due mostly to not so positive life experiences I suppose.

I think it is like being a little girl walking with Daddy down the street and seeing a beautiful doll in a store window. I look up at him with the question in my eyes. Afraid to ask in case he says no but feeling deep inside that I need to have it. And instead of telling me no he takes my hand and enters the store with me. Inside I discover all sorts of beautiful dolls and while each is amazing in it’s own way, I am drawn back, again and again, to the one in the window.

I think my fantasies are like the dolls. Each one beautiful and I know they will be fun and provide hours of entertainment but there is one that draws me over and over and that is being with a black man.

I don’t expect people to understand my fascination. I don’t fully understand it myself but it’s there.

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