I Might Be Jealous

Living this lifestyle has introduced me to some of the most amazing people. Popular, funny, raunchy, a-fucking-mazing people living in glamorous places doing adventurous things. And I think I might be a tad bit jealous. I would so love to go to all the fun stuff, be a model for someones bondage photography, write riveting pieces for the reading pleasure of others. Its hard sometimes to not feel a little bit jealous of the fun things everyone else is doing. Shibaricon? I would love to have been able to go to that one. Kinkfest… sigh… All the different activities happening in my own area this summer? I wish I could say “sign me up!” So how does being a 40 year old girlfriend, mom, ex-wife, lover, fetishist compete with glamor and adventure? Well, in reality I am really happy with my life. I do most of the things I love when I want to. I am with the people that mean the most in the world to me. I have a job that while not burning up the world financially does pay the bills for now and the folks I work for are wonderful. Still, in the stillness of the night when everyone else is sleeping here, I read about things the people on here get to do and I have to admit, I might be just a little bit jealous. I wonder if it’s not a bit like our pre-occupation with movie stars. We all wish a little bit, even if we dont say it out loud that we could be one of them if only for a little while.

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