Geez! I find understanding and enlightenment in the weirdest places.

So I am at this business seminar, mind totally in business mode when something the speaker says hits me as applying to the lifestyle. I dont remember the exact quote but it definitely got me thinking about being a submissive in the lifestyle.

Submission is not about how much pain you can take or about how many toys you have stuffed under your bed. Submission is about your willingness to serve.

Are you willing to do things for your Dominant even when you really don’t feel like it? Are you willing to insure his needs are met even when, for the moment, your own go unfulfilled?

If a person refers to herself as a submissive but has no desire to serve then I would have to question whether she is submissive or just out to get her jollies for the moment.

Now I think I see why someone would refer to themselves as a “true” submissive. It’s not that their way is the only right way it is that deep down inside they desire more than anything else, and are happiest, to be in service to someone.

Perhaps that is why so many submissives (myself included) have been in abusive relationships before finding the lifestyle. They have an inante need to serve and others can and will take advantage of that. But then the submissive gets into the lifestyle and starts learning to take care of her submissiveness and becomes better educated about submission and Dominance. She then ends up with someone fit for her submission to be given to because she has taken the time to understand herself and her own needs and in turn can be a better submissive to her Dom.

I am generalizing of course because life doesn’t get perfect once we find the lifestyle but it certainly makes us better educated about our choices. What we individually choose to do with that education is of course entirely up to us. Some will know what they should do and wont do it no matter what. Others will do what they need to but only under duress so to speak and then there are those that will try to use that education to change their life for the better. I for one certainly hope I am using the knowledge I have been given to change my life for the better. Because I know in doing so I can make my world a much happier place to be.

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